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| Ramones—Ramones |
That's not to say Ramones was a hit on the order of Rumours, because it wasn't, and it only became gold-certified in 2014, less than three months before the death of the only remaining original member Tommy Erdelyi. Tommy, the band's drummer, is pictured second from the left on the cover, though it can be tough to distinguish the four from one another with their near-identical attire—jeans, leather jackets, and sneakers—the Beatles as outsiders, with guitarist Johnny and bassist Dee Dee even sporting bowl cuts. This persona may not seem novel today, but when the Ramones formed in 1974, no one was doing what they were doing. That goes double for the music, which was suggested by the likes of the Stooges and Death, but never perfectly condensed into what became punk rock until the Ramones bashed out their 29-minute debut.
"Blitzkrieg Bop" today is something of an archetype. It has been used in everything from sports games to commercials, which is amusing considering the fact that "blitzkrieg" refers to Nazi war tactics, though the Tommy-penned song was more of a simple punk dance tune until Dee Dee altered the lyrics ("Cretin Hop" from Rocket to Russia [1977] would be closer to Tommy's original idea). "Beat on the Brat," written by lead singer Joey about a desire to batter unruly children, is a great example of rock minimalism with its straying beat and two-chord verses, perhaps inspired by the Modern Lovers' "Roadrunner." Beloved by fans, "Judy Is a Punk" references the knowingly-insipid "I'm Henry the VIII, I Am" by Herman's Hermits ("Second verse: same as the first") as Joey muses of impressionable young people Jackie and Judy, "Perhaps they'll die." "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" seems out of place until it is noted that the band and the album itself were influenced by Phil Spector, who would produce their fifth album, End of the Century (1980). Its facade is quickly ripped apart by the blistering "Chain Saw," about contemporary film The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, with Joey recounting the grim plot of the movie before reacting, "I don't care."
"Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" is a brainy lyric that must be studied to be understood, featuring a rare but excellent Johnny guitar solo. "I Don't Wanna Go down to the Basement" is something like the album's epic at 2:35. "Loudmouth," which musically is something like the inverse of "Blitzkrieg Bop," has a simple or ironic message: "You're a loudmouth, baby/You better shut it up/I'm gonna beat you up." "Havana Affair" trivializes the United States' ongoing conflict with Cuba and "Listen to My Heart" condenses breakup lessons into two minutes of song. "53rd and 3rd" details the legend of Dee Dee's male prostitution stint on the corner of 53rd Street and 3rd Avenue in Manhattan, though he was not a Green Beret and it is questionable whether or not he "took out [his] razor blade/and ... did what God forbade." Keyboard or organ can actually be heard buried deep under the distortion on the cover of Chris Montez' "Let's Dance." Johnny's guitar roars to great satisfaction on the sparse "I Don't Wanna Walk around with You," while on "Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World" Joey rises above it to yell, "I'm a shock trooper in stupor ... I'm a Nazi schazte/You know I fight for Fatherland."
Plenty of artists have recorded music simpler or more minimal than Ramones, but never before it were the prime aspects of a pure rock and roll band so directly put to an LP. Their music was not as visceral as the Velvet Underground, and that comparison highlights the one flaw of Ramones' debut: it wasn't particularly eclectic, and coupled with their simple lyrics it made for the occasional forgettable song. Of course, complexity wasn't the reason to listen to Ramones; as a record of unbridled energy, not to mention underrated humor, it has few peers.
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